Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Not kinky, honest!

Commuting has not been fun the past few days.  I'm tired of fog, tired of feeling tense on the bike, with temperatures just cold enough for spots of black ice randomly showing up along my route.  But, I hate the bus, or at least, the bus feels slow and inconvenient, and requires some schedule planning.  So, I've compromised with a part bike and part seabus commute.  All that to say, I arrived home at 8:00 p.m. last night, in need of a good laugh.  Bill, in spite of the fact he's had a bad cold, as well as a mystery ailment in his right eye, was happy to oblige.  He walks Black Jack every afternoon.  He's not about to use the long leash I was so happy to discover a couple of blogs ago.  Just not his style.  But last night, as we sat chatting before supper, he said, proudly, "I've found a new way to walk Black Jack."  I was curious.  He quietly goes about his days, rarely describing them in the minute detail I regularly inflict on him.  

"Want to see?" he asked, looking positively triumphant.  He pointed out that on their walk, Black Jack had suddenly either seen something or imagined something, and jerked the leash out of his hand as she ran down the lane.  He tried to catch her, but she is really, really quick.  He called her, but as regular readers will know, we and Black Jack are, for now, recall challenged.  Heart failure moment.  Fortunately, she stopped at our gate.  However, Bill was not about to expose himself again to such incidents.  Not one to be outwitted, he came up with a plan.  He took one of the leashes from the four I used on Sunday, looped it around his neck, and tied it to Black Jack's regular blue leash.  As he stood in the kitchen, proudly demonstrating his new system, I doubled over with laughter.  He looked a bit sheepish, and said, "I just wish it wasn't pink."  At that, I laughed even harder.  I'm not one to buy pink anything, but lately, seem to be going through a change of life (or something).  My bike jacket is pink (or it was when I bought it over a year ago), and for some reason, I picked up four of these pink leashes.  In my defense, I think it was because that was the only color they had four of, and at least, would somehow avoid the rainbow affect as I secured them together.  Anyhow, I asked him if we could reenact his triumph of will over Black Jack, and ever the good sport, he agreed.  Below is our reenactment:

We decided to include Black Jack, and Bill set himself up on the steps.  He had to put Black Jack between his feet, because she kept trying to crawl into my lap as I sat on the floor in front of them.  Black Jack became distracted at that moment, as she heard something outside, probably the cat or some other night critter.
Her attention came back to me temporarily when I called her name, but I could tell she was saying, "Hurry up with this.  I can't pose here all day."  Bill, however, was cooperative, pink leash installed securely around his neck.
"Okay, Bill.  This is all very nice and all, but unless you have something more to offer, I really have things to do.  Massage, maybe?"  (Note: I have no idea why the color changed in the last three pictures.  My camera lately is acting weird.  Maybe too many foggy days and cold temps.)
"No massage?  Well then, you must have a treat in that hand, right?"  Poor Bill.  He really did want to help me out with my blog.  He frantically tried to get things back under control.
"Well, this has been nice and all, Bill, but I'm going to leave you with your pink leash.  I really do have to check that living room window.  See you later."
For some reason, every time I thought of that pink leash around Bill's neck, I laughed.  It still amuses me.  Thanks, Bill.  You are nothing, if not patient, obliging, and very, very sweet.  Oh, and did I mention, ingenious?  Black Jack will never again be able to leave you standing (or worse, running) with no dog, as she takes off to wherever the spirit moves her.

5 comments:

  1. I have visions of Black Jack tearing off and poor Bill doing a face plant on the sidewalk as he frantically tries to prevent the pink leash from strangling him while Black Jack drags away at the human anchor. LOL

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  2. It's a good thing that BJ is small, I guess. Wouldn't want Bill to get strangled! If I am working on leash skills with a new dog I will often secure a leash over one shoulder (like a purse) or around my waist. Or I will slip the handle of the leash through my belt. I dragged poor Titan around like this when he was a baby and I was doing my chores. I sort of regret that decision now because he is always following on my heels (no leash any more) and getting in the way.

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  3. The least you could do is get a dog collar for Bill (and I don't mean a priest's collar.) If it's good enough for Black Jack, why not Bill. Mmmm. I might mention this to my people.

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  4. thanks for sharing - worth a good chuckle, that's for sure. much better than finishing off those durn course outlines! :-) MB

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  5. Jean and dp: I agree it's an unorthodox method, but then, Bill's mind works in strange and sometimes mysterious ways:) I would also agree that Black Jack's size is crucial to the success of the system.

    dp: What I wouldn't give to have Black Jack following at my heels, at least some of the time.

    Ruby, Black Jack did a "paw up" when I told her about your comment.

    Mali, thanks for the comment! Glad to hear you had a procrastination moment too. Wish I could could mine to moments, as opposed to minutes and hours and even, sometimes, days:)

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